We all see something on TV or in a comic and think “that would be so cool as a movie!” As someone that loves his movies and is always craving for more of whatever genre I’m feeling at the time, I thought it best to share my top five adaptations that I want to see brought to the big screen.
A little role-playing – you (the reader) will act as the studio executives, while I pitch my ideas at you. So let’s dive straight in with number five!
Be warned, by the way, we’re about to enter a whole new level of nerd. You will be taking a trip down the stream of my personal and specific tastes in entertainment media.
Pitch 5: Avatar Korra: Peace Theory
Avatar: The Legend of Korra season three acts as inspiration for this first movie pitch. For anyone that hasn’t seen this season, the pitch will follow the story loosely but for anyone that has seen it – listen closely:
Kicking off a three part epic, we’re thrown into the story with a voice over explaining the Harmonic Convergence – a global event that opened a spirit portal and made a nation of once regular people into Air Benders. Team Avatar (Korra the Avatar, Mako a firebender, Bolin an earthbender, and Asami) and Tenzin travel across the world to find newly gifted airbenders so they can build the nation back up after it was nearly made extinct.
While travelling across the world, the group run into trouble with dictator Earth Kingdom Queen, who captures some of the airbenders in order to turn them into her own personal army, though they all eventually manage to escape her clutches.
During this film, we see Jinora (Tenzin’s daughter) develop an airbending skill that lets her project her spirit anywhere in the world. This would be developed over the film as she finally figures out how to use it to locate the captured airbenders.
Whilst the main story is happening, we cut (at different times of the film) to the four members, who each bend a different element, of Red Lotus breaking out of their jail cells located across the world, Zaheer being the leader, shocks his jail cell guards with his new-found power of air bending. This film will serve as an introduction the world and its characters.
Part 2, Tenzin and his recruited airbenders settle at the Northern Air Temple to train while Team Avatar goes off to recruit some more. Team Avatar, joined by Lin Bei Fong (Republic City’s police chief), land in Zaofu – a Metal Clan city in the mountains run by Lin’s sister, Suyin. Team Avatar discovers that Suyin’s daughter Opal is now an airbender, so they stay in Zaofu so that Korra can teach Opal airbending and Suyin can teach Korra a now popularised sub-earthbending style, metalbending.
Zaheer and his Red Lotus gang are now free and, being the antagonists, are on the search for Korra for some mysterious reason. They arrive undercover at the Northern Air Temple but are soon rumbled and barely escape. Getting wind that Korra is in Zaofu, the Red Lotus show up attempting to kidnap her but fail after an epic battle of elements including the Bei Fong sisters (earthbenders), Mako, Bolin, Suyin’s twin sons (earthbenders), and a bunch of Suyin’s guards.
The day after this battle, Team Avatar find the man responsible for letting the Red Lotus into Zaofu. Upon interrogation, the snitch tells Korra a time and place to meet Zaheer in the spirit world. During this meeting Zaheer reveals the Red Lotus’ plan to bring about ultimate peace – by letting the world return to its natural state; chaos. This would also mean the death of the Avatar, whose job is to keep the peace and maintain balance.
Part3, the Red Lotus go to the Earth Kingdom to begin their plan of chaos, which results in an epic 15 minute battle of the Red Lotus fighting the Earth Queen’s personal guards, the Dai Li, and then eventually killing the Queen. With no dictatorship in place, the Red Lotus’ earthbender takes down the walls dividing the different classes of the Kingdom, unleashing ultimate chaos.
Team Avatar then tracks down the Red Lotus to the Northern Air Temple where the airbenders have all been taken hostage. The price to save the hostages is Korra, but an epic battle breaks out between Korra and the Bei Fong sisters against Zaheer and another Red Lotus member, as everyone discovers that the real hostages are being held somewhere else.
The Red Lotus ends up capturing Korra, and attempts to end her life but only manages to severely cripple her in a final battle between Korra and Zaheer. Whilst this show down is going on Mako and Bolin go to free the airbenders but discover it’s all smoke and mirrors. At this point, Boilin finds out that he’s a rare breed of earthbender – he has the ability to bend lava also.
During the final fight between Zaheer and Korra, Jinora – realising that Korra is losing the battle – takes charge of the airbenders to help take Zaheer down. Jinora succeeds in doing so and therefore gains her much awaited airbending tattoos which act as a rite of passage for airbenders, this is set way after the final fight scene which results in a wheelchair bound Korra still crippled and an emotional scene as Korra realises the air nation has been reborn after it’s near extinction.
Yes, this pitch is long, but this franchise is very much filled with fresh lore that unless you’ve seen the series you probably won’t have a clue what you’re getting into. This is partly why I’ve made this fifth place is because it would be a hard premise to get off the ground. Set in an industrial but scenic version of the late 1800s. For the lead role, I would love to see Sofia Boutella play Korra as she is a dancer who could probably meet the combat demands, Sofia also looks like her in body shape and has done a good job in all the films she’s featured in. After the mess of the first Avatar movie I would love for this project to be picked up by a more capable director that would respect this franchise and give it the story it deserves.
Pitch 4: Archer: Vice
For anyone that’s seen the TV show Archer, you know that it’s a very stylised type of cartoon with an adult audience, taking on themes of alcoholism and laden with sexual innuendos and violence – all with a comedic cherry on top.
What I’m proposing is for the audience to be thrown into the story by first seeing an established spy agency, run by corrupt ex spy Malory Archer and her son Sterling Archer as the agency’s top spy. The agency is very quickly raided by the FBI and during their interrogation, the main cast’s characters and the history of the agency is developed through the questioning.
Malory, using her know-how manages to get her agents and self out of interrogation, but with no money and her loyal agents looking to her for leadership, Malory pulls in some favours from her underground network to obtain a literal ton of cocaine. Being first time drug dealers, Sterling (otherwise just know as Archer) and the other agents must go around the world selling the cocaine in bulk, which leads them into some very dangerous yet comedic predicaments.
This film would be a very big weight on the actors as it’s up to them to be entertaining enough to carry the film, so for my all-star casting I would want Malory played as her voice actor (Arrested Development star) Jessica Walter, Archer played by Michael Fassbender, Ryan Gosling to play Ray Gillete (the agency’s sassiest gay man), a more bulked up Rosaria Dawson to play Lana Kane (Archer’s on-off love interest), Melissa McCarthy to play Pam the coke-head from HR, either Sacha Baron Cohen or Christoph Waltz to play Krieger (the in-house psychotic Nazi scientist), Alison Brie to play receptionist Cheryl Tunt, Michael Caine to play Archer’s butler Woodhouse, and Mark Ruffalo to play Cyril Figgis (the agency’s nerdy accountant).
This movie would match the style of the latest Man from Uncle film, in the sense that everything is very fashion stylised and there’s a sense of macho to everything.
Pitch 3: Django and Zorro
Django Unchained is my all-time favourite movie. It’s got quips, explosive action, a minority that rises and defies all, and an array of characters that complement the movie. Not Tarantino’s best (I believe tha honour belongs to Kill Bill), but it’s my favourite.
Even though I’ve said in a previous article that this film would never be made and that a sequel is best not to be made for all of Quentin’s films, I would still love to see this team up of classic characters. In this film, we start off with a Django being a newly fully-fledged free man and also continuing his bounty hunter career.
Django moves to start bounty hunting near the Mexican border and during one of his missions he comes across a well-seasoned Zorro who has been Zorro’ing now for 10 or so years. At first they both don’t get along due to Zorro being to head string and Django being too sassy to care about anything. But they soon realise they have a lot in common as they’re both minorities in a time where freedom can only be bought. They both band together to kill a small cult of KKK members that steal Mexicans and African Americans for some sick ritualistic reasons.
This film should feel typically Quentinesque – with huge blood explosions mixed with incredibly tense moments. I would like to keep out both Zorro and Django’s love interest as the film should focus on their dynamic as a duo. Due to Zorro being in that Hole of No-Remembrance, I would include short flashbacks of Zorro’s origin. For the casting of Zorro, I would like to see Diego Luna, I reckon this chap could hold his own with his Jamie Foxx and it also helps a lot at he’s Mexican himself.
Pitch 2: Boondocks: The Tale of Stinkmeaner
This film would be the live adaptation for the multi-season story arc which was the tale of Stinkmeaner. Stinkmeaner is an old (teases to be around 100), blind man with superhuman-like senses that’s extremely bitter and hates life and all that inhabit it.
The story starts like this; Grandad (yeah that’s his name in the cartoon, voiced by John Witherspoon) and his grandchildren Riley Freeman, a young impressionable kid that likes to think he’s gangster, and Huey Freeman, a young black activist that’s skilled in Kung-Fu, all leave the mall with Grandad now owning a fresh pair of new shoes. Stinkmeaner comes along and being all bitter decides to ruin Grandad’s happiness by stomping on his new shoes. Doing this causes a reaction from Grandad which ends up with him on the floor after being beat up by Stinkmeaner.
Grandad plots his revenge by setting up ‘celebrity’ boxing match with Stinkmeaner, which ends up with Grandad accidently killing Stinkmeaner. After this we see Stinkmeaner in hell causing a ruckus amoungst the spirits, so Satan kicks him out because he’s too much to handle.
With the spirit of Stinkmeaner floating around he goes to taunt Grandad in his sleep and in his everyday activities – causing him to go mad. Grandad can’t handle it anymore so he calls in help from a local pastor, Uncle Ruckus, a black man that’s extremely racist against black people and also jack of all trades as he has hundreds of jobs in this series. Uncle Ruckus carries out an exorcism to get rid of Stinkmeaner once and for all. However Stinkmeaner doesn’t fully leave existence and is instead left floating around in the void.
Saddened upon hearing of Stinkmeaner’s demise, his gang of friends, the Geriatric Hoodlums, raise him from the dead to try and kill Grandad. After the first failed attempt at Grandad’s life, he hires a bodyguard which is pretty much the black version of Bruce Lee. In the final fight, black Bruce Lee ends up being decapitated all whilst Riley has to break his gangster code and call the police to arrest the Geriatric Hoodlums.
This cartoon series and hopefully film is heavily influenced by Hip-Hop, old Kung-Fu films, black activism, and a playful comedic silliness. For the cast I would like Tyler James Williams to play Huey, Danny Glover to play Uncle Ruckus, a younger black teenager as Riley, Samuel L. Jackson as Stinkmeaner, a more aged-up Laurence Fishburne as Grandad, and either Wesley Snipes or Michael Jai White for the Black Bruce Lee. The music in this always helps to elevate the situation that’s why I think it would be best to have some top producers in the G-funk sound and producers from the 90s gangster rap era work on the films music.
Pitch 1: Old Soldiers: Wolverine and Captain America
I grew up on the 90s X-Men animated series with the badass electric guitar intro. I didn’t watch this series on TV but I owned a couple seasons on VHS when I was a kid. One episode that always stuck out to me and that I always remembered was the Old Soldiers episode that had Captain America cameoing in it.
I know these days this film would be impossible to make, but my inner child would probably cry if Fox and Marvel Studios could put aside their differences to make an out-of-timeline film like this.
The story goes something like this: in a flashback narrated by Wolverine, we’re put in Nazi occupied France. Wolverine, an undercover agent, must locate his mission officer. To do so, he is told he must break into Red Skull’s base and either retrieve or kill some Nazi scientist. On the way to Skull’s base, he has meet up with the America’s hero – Captain America.
On their way to the Nazi scientist, both heroes are captured, which then leads to them escaping *of course*. Once free, Cap and Mr Wolv still have a mission to accomplish – but first must get past what looks like a first-generation sentinel with Nazi designs over it. During this epic battle Red Skull takes the scientist hostage and manages to escape in a high-tech jet.
We then cut back to present day with Wolverine angry that this is his only failed mission. But then at the scientist’s grave stone, the scientist’s daughter approaches Wolverine and tells him that the scientist was really a double agent that prevented Hitler’s plots to sabotage the Manhattan Project while also leaking valuable German intel. If you’ve watched this cartoon you should know that Wolverine doesn’t have any adamantium, he only has his agility and healing factor – this would be great to include into the film, especially coming off of Logan. To make this film more spy-like, Captain America and Wolverine would wear all black tactical suits with Captain America’s shield being coloured in with shades of grey and black. Weirdly the scene I remember the most is Wolverine pulling out two sets of claws that he grows fond of to help him and Cap climb up the side of a mountain.
So, thank you for making it through my biggest article yet! It’s only a big read because I tried my best to spill my creative juices all over this piece (ew). If you have any movie adaptations you would love to see make it to the big screen, then please @ me @charliewarnerw. If you didn’t like what you read and thought that it was too long for you to care about, then why don’t you go read a kid’s picture book? (jk)